My first thought.

My first thought is that I am completely insane, and that no other women think like I do, but that still doesn't stop me from starting a blog.

It all began so simple. I had gotten really angry with a friend, a few weeks back. I blindly suggested that she not spend time with a friend who is not good for her, in my biased opinion. I made the assumption that my words would be private, but I don't know what I was thinking! It all came raining down on me, like a thunderstorm. The childish retribution that came my way, started with Facebook status updates, regarding how childish and insecure I am. Who isn't childish and insecure sometimes? It wasn't the reason that I gave my friend advice, but she chose to see it that way.

Then followed by angry emails from the person I said was not good for her. Of course there were a myriad of excuses, they weren't talking about me being insecure, they were talking about their boyfriends. Then that they thought I wasn't serious, that I was only mad they didn't invite me shopping! Seriously??? I thought high school ended at 18?

It's only gotten worse, and I continue to wonder what in heaven I was thinking, giving anyone advice on who should be their friends, when clearly I was lacking in my own judgement. But I still press on, thinking that a few bad decisions on their part doesn't negate all the wonderful history we have.

But then the bombshell hits. I call one day, just to chat, only to be told that she's on her way out, she going shopping with a different friend. Oh great I tell her, have fun. Later that day a friend of mine tells he she ran into her with the friend I dislike. So apparently she lied to me, for reasons I know, but I shrug it off. She's obviously trying to avoid hearing me say again that she's making a mistake, but I try to understand. That is, until it happens two more times.

By now, I'm just irritated. Why go through all the trouble to hide it if your so sure I am wrong? It dawns on me, its because she knows I am right! But it's still lying, right?

So I begin to wonder, what kind of women is this "friend". Even though I assume I know her, do I really? How many times has she lied to me before? How gullible have I been? I can't help but wonder am I the only woman with this problem? Is it just me, was I the only girl whose Mom said to cherish my female friends, for they may be the best part of my life one day?

That bring's me to here, starting a blog. It's my desperate need to ask other women if they have been there, desperately trying to find friends that I can understand. Women that I have an open real relationship with. Am I alone? Am I lost to spend my life without a real true girlfriend, who understands me like my Mother does? Someone who knows that my intentions often outweigh my actions? Someone who I can truly trust? Or am I destined to spend the rest of my life with only one woman I can honestly say I know really cares for me?

If there are ladies out there willing to explore this topic with me, please do, maybe you can help me find some understand in my quest for true friends, in a world where it seems I have none.

It's this and many other questions I ponder every day, lost in my mind. Its hard to explain this to my husband, that I wonder about things all day long. Some days its about why men are so similar yet so different, or why my daughters fight as if they hate each other, yet hate to be separated. Why I am expected to be Wonder Woman, yet never be told how wonderful I am? It's questions I ask myself all the time, and never have a chance to talk to other women about. So here's my chance, to talk, to other women about the things I ponder, and answer the question,

"What does Wonder Woman Wonder?"